Spiral: Suiri no Yugi
by Queen Galux
Summary: a Spiral parody using YuGiOh characters: Yugi's older brother, Atemu, has been missing for two years and now there is the issue of the mysterious Blade Children coming up. :Most Likely Dead:
1. introduction

**Spiral: Suiri no Yugi**

Yay! This is something that just came to me in my mind andI wanted to try out! It may be weird and people who haven't seen Spiral probably shouldn't read it, or at least, not people who don't like spoilers. And definitely people who can't understand why a person who loves a show would mock it so mercilously.

This should be in with ff(dot)net's rules; I've seen other stories out there as parodies of shows or movies, soI see no reason why some crackpot will delete this. (growls) Rrriiiiggghhtt?

disclaimer- Not only doI not own spiral or yugioh, butI also don't own any plot from Spiral (yea,I don't own a bottomless pit!) nor doI even own my own muse, Hiei. Poor me.

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**introduction- we all get stuck doing this**

_Dear YuGiOh characters:_

_Lately I was thinking about how much Spiral and YuGiOh were alike, like in their themes and junk and slowly but surely, it came to me: why not combine YuGiOh and Spiral and make a crossover! Well that idea lasted out until the end of that sentence, but THEN I got thinking about how much I love mocking Spiral, since it is one of my favorite animes and I thought, make a Spiral parody! That lasted a bit longer than the other idea, but I really love writing YuGiOh fanfics more than anything and then, oh-ho-ho, it REALLY came to me! A Spiral parody: played by YuGiOh characters!_

_from, queen-galux_

Yugi rolled around on the ground at school, "She wants us to do a parody now?" he groaned, "Ugh… when will it end?"

Jounouchi shrugged, "Probably when we die."

Seto's eyes narrowed, "Well then, you're free to go then, aren't you bonkotsu?"

Jou-kun got ready to beat up Kaiba, when Hiei showed up as the authoress's muse, "Hn."

"Don't give us that crap," muttered Bakura, "We all know you say much more than just that."

Hiei grunted, "Yeah, alright, I do. Now… here's the list of demands-"

"Demands!" Honda cried mournfully, "She has demands!"

Hiei 'hn'ed and went on, "-from your loyal authoress. She wants you guys to stick to the script as much as you can, because she took so much time to write it, but you can ad lib once or twice if you want to. And here," he pulled out more sheets of paper and started handing them around, "-are your parts."

Bakura gruffly snatched his, "So long as I'm not the snobby Brit, I'll be fine." He took a long look at his script, before shoving his head in a trash can, "AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!"

Seto chuckled under his breath, "Guess what he got…" his face paled at his character, "RIO TAKEUCHI? I'M NOT A GIRL! HAVE SOMEONE ELSE DO IT!"

Jounouchi laughed at Kaiba, "YES! I got Kousuke, wahoooo!" he made like an airplane and soared around the bunch of teens.

Ryou looked glumly at his, "You're not the only one who got genderbended, Kaiba-kun."

Hiei held off the masses, "Hey! We used up the girls in other, more essential female parts!"

"Yeah!" Anzu shoved her script in front of Kaiba's face, "I could have played your part _easily_, but I get to play Atemu's wife instead!" she ran rabidly to Yugi's darker half, "We get to be together forever!"

Atemu read the fine print of his character description, "But doesn't this say that I disappeared two years ago and is never actually in the action here?"

Anzu bit her lip, "Stupid, baka writer. I hate my part."

Kaiba moaned, "I'm a girl?"

Hiei slapped both Kaiba and Anzu, "Get over it! You should be glad you're not some stuffed turtle attached to a bomb!"

…somewhere in lala land…

"NAAANIIII?" screeched Haga, "I'M A TURTLE BOMB?"

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Haha, like you'd want to review it! Even less likely is that anyone actually read it...

REVIEW!

(edit: Seriously, review! I _adore_ feedback. It brightens up my homework-laden day.)


	2. spiral of destiny

Wahoo! First episode of Spiral, redubbed in a horrible, mean, mocking, parodiac way!  
Please note, I, in no way, shape or form, am trying to bash Suiri no Kizuna; it's just that i LUV torturing my favorite characters/shows/plots/everything. w00t, it's so awesome! It shouldn't be too hard for fans of Spiral to find out who plays who...I hope.

disclaimer-I don't own the Spiral plotline, or the Yugioh characters.I do have a narrator though. He's cool.

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**spiral of destiny- life sucks, deal with it**

_It was a normal day in Osaka. The sky was blue, the grass was green, the birds were chirping and the seagulls were… seagulling. All seemed perfect, except for one teenager who was sitting on the roof of his school, being very introverted and downright unsociable. _

Yugi Motou attempted to do as he was scripted to do, but found it rather difficult. "Aw, what pretty birds…" he blushed embarassedly, "I mean… life sucks."

_The boy was pondering his dear older brother, who had disappeared two years ago._

Yugi nodded, "You know, you'd think he'd have been found by now or at least that I'd have gotten over it. This must mean something big is going to happen and I'm gonna be a part of it." Yugi got up to leave the rooftop and walked down the stairs, passing Ryou Bakura, who was on his way up.

_And he's so right! For as soon as Yugi reached the bottom of the staircase, he heard a yell that sounded like the albino boy he'd just seen and went to check it out. _

Yugi jogged back up the stairs and looked around, "Odd, where'd he go?" he walked closer to the edge of the roof and noticed the group of people on the ground below, "HEY! WHAT HAPPENED HERE?"

Professor Keith pointed up at him, "Look! He must be the one who pushed this poor kid! And he's got the nerve to still be up there!"

Yugi blinked, "But I didn't do it!"

"Tell it to the judge, you evil person-who-pushes-innocent-people-off-roofs!" yelled Keith, before turning to look at Ryou, "I thought he was supposed to be a she?"

_We ran out of good female characters and he looks enough like a girl for it not to matter. _

"True," everyone agreed.

_Anyway, as Yugi was now the prime suspect of a crime that all of us know he'd never commit, he waited to be interrogated by the police. _

A brunette woman with a skimpy skirt and a brown-haired man with the most boring face on the planet walked into the room, "Oh, it's you!" said the woman in shock.

Yugi gasped, and ran to her "Oh, thank you for coming Anzu! These people are so mean! They actually thought that I knocked somebody off the roof!"

Anzu patted his head, "It's okay!"

The man next to her looked surprised, "You know this person?"

Anzu snuggled against Yugi, "Of course, Honda! He's my brother-in-law; I married his brother, but now that he's disappeared and Yugi looks so much like him, I hit on him every once in awhile!" she took a step away from Yugi and reprimanded him, "Now, I know you would never throw/knock/push someone else off a roof; you have no upper body strength, but since I'm the only one who would believe it, you have to prove yourself innocent by whatever inane means you can! Oh, and make me some good curry for dinner!"

Yugi nodded, "Alright. That's easy. Not too sure about the curry part though."

_Now, randomly, a girl from Yugi's school was listening at the door and as Honda went to open it, she crashed into the room. _

"HI!" said the mysterious girl.

Yugi looked at her hard, "Hm… who are you?"

"WHAAAAA?" she shrieked, "Come on, silly, I'm Rebecca! I'm a crazy reporter girl, the only person on the newspaper team at the whole school and I have a cool song! I'm going to be helping you throughout, like, the rest of your life because you always have something interesting happening to you!"

Yugi nodded, trying to remember all this information, "Okay. Let's go then! I don't wanna be late making dinner for Anzu! She can be a real pain!" Rebecca, now called Becky, and Yugi pranced out of the room. As they were walking along the hallway, they ran into Professor Keith.

Said-professor growled at Yugi, "So how long are you in for, runt?"

Yugi snarled back, not at all menacingly, "NOT AS LONG AS YOU'LL BE IN FOR, YOU RAT!" With that, he stomped down the hallway.

Becky gasped, "How did you figure out it was him already?" she was all ready with pen and paper to write down every word.

Yugi shook his head and laughed, "I didn't! I just wanted to stir up things and sound cool!"

_Yugi kept on walking as Becky face-faulted behind him. Meanwhile with Keith… _

"How? HOW DOES HE KNOW?" Keith banged his head into the wall, "Ouch."

_Well, after the rest of the day of thinking to himself, Yugi got home and made Anzu her curry; albeit it was of the heat-n-serve variety. _

Anzu shoved the curry into Yugi's face, "You call this FOOD?"

Yugi shoved it back into her, "Well, it's pretty good considering the fact that I CAN'T COOK!"

"Stop yelling; we're over our argument. Now we're supposed to be brooding over my beloved Atemu," Anzu pulled out her script and pointed to it.

Yugi blushed, "Oh, sorry."

_Yugi sighed over his food. His brother, and Anzu's husband, Atemu, had been missing for two years and was causing them both lots of emotional pain and suffering. It also caused Anzu to start hitting on Yugi because, dammit, they looked practically identical. _

Yugi played with his hair, "I can't count the times that I've woken up with this-" he pointed to Anzu, "-thing sleeping next to me; using me as a pillow. I have this bad feeling though that it'll get even worse because she'll start being threatened by the new girl, Becky." He shrugged, "But that's just my guess."

_The next day at school, Yugi ran into Rebecca again, who convinced him to go check out the crime scene for clues. _

"Why should I?" Yugi asked, "I'm supposed to be an apathetic, indifferent teen who doesn't care about anything… why do I wanna prove I'm not the 'murderer'?"

Becky hopped up and down, being hyper, "BECAUSE! IT'S REALLY REALLY FUN AND IT'LL MAKE ME HAPPY, OH AND BY THE WAY, RYOU'S NOT DEAD, BUT HE'S GOT AMNESIA SO IT DOESN'T MATTER AFTER ALL!" she finally quieted down and got close to him, "And besides… I think that if you do this, you'll find out about your brother."

Yugi gasped, "How do you know about him?"

Becky shrugged, "Everyone _knows_ about him, we just dunno where he is. And that's what everyone else is going to answer if you ask them, so you probably shouldn't waste your time!"

_Anyway, they were on the roof… _

"OOOOH, IT'S SO SCARY!" Rebecca waved her arms around, pretending to fly, not convincing anyone that she was scared, "I'll bet this is the part where you find out how Professor Keith did it because here come some of my best friends, only they're so tiny from up here that I really have to squint and it would be dead-near-impossible for a slightly nearsighted person like Ryou to see down there without leaning on the rail!"

_As Rebecca waved to the ground from the roof, something clicked in Yugi's brain. _

"Ouch," Yugi rubbed his head at the pain from the click. "Now let's see, what was that line again? Oh yeah…" he said, blandly, "The melody of logic always plays the notes of truth."

"Wow," murmured Becky, "That's one long catch-phrase!" Being a brand new fan of Yugi's, she eagerly wrote down every word he said.

Yugi nodded, sifting through the script, "Yeah, though it might help if I said it more than three times in the series. People might not remember it."

_After a moment of pondering, they both ran down to find Keith, when at the same time, Anzu and Honda went to find him as well, since they had found an encrypting letter in Ryou's desk. _

Yugi rushed in to the room just as Keith was being put in handcuffs, "What are you doing?"

Honda sighed, "This note. It was written to Ryou, telling him to go up to his desk. All we had to do was prove that Professor Keith had written it and he cracked like an eggshell."

The police began hauling out the offending criminal when he started shouting at Yugi, "I KNOW ABOUT YOUR BROTHER, YUGI!"

The wife of Atemu gasped in surprise, "How? He hasn't called me or anything! Is he alright? Is he brushing his teeth well? Because you know, you can feel like you're brushing your teeth well, but in reality-"

"My God woman, do you want to hear about him or not?" when Anzu shut up, Keith cleared his throat and said bluntly, "The Blade Children."

_Well that made both the Motou's gasp and go to a flashback of the last time Yugi had talked to Atemu, where he really only said, 'I'm going to pursue the mystery of the Blade Children.' It was a very profound moment. _

Unfortunately, it was so profound that Keith was able to escape from Honda's grasp and race all the way outside the school, before getting attacked by _someone_ and falling down on the ground.

Yugi gasped at Keith's pretty much lifeless body and thought to himself, '…what should I make for dinner tonight?'

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Argh, I'm too lazy to write up the episode preview... maybe I'll do that later...

REVIEW!

(edit- At a friend's suggestion, I've added proper capitalization to my author notes.Was it worth it? Review!)


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